*The following is abridged from the 1,800 word original. I took out the dirty parts.

October 12, 2016

Dear Susan –

2016 wasn’t on my radar in 1997 – it seemed unimaginably far away. I already felt old then, although when I look at the pictures, we’re just kids. Nineteen years is an accomplishment – something I’m proud of. I would have said back then, “of course we’re going to make it to 19, 29, 39 years.” Our relationship was what I’d been hoping for, what I thought I’d been too impetuous, or sinful, or whatever other self-hating delusion I’d carried, to deserve before.

Here’s what I thought of you when I asked you to marry me: pretty, hardworking, talented; compassionate, because you served differently-abled adults and seemed to genuinely like them as people (and they liked you); great followspot operator.

Since we’ve been married, I can add that you’re a wonderful mother to our girl and two dogs, and that our political and spiritual views have evolved together – something that doesn’t always happen. I respect you and I have no doubt about the respect others have for you – something I didn’t know would become important to me, way back in 1997. I genuinely look forward to time that we will spend together, whether on a walk or a trip, or even sitting together watching a program you may or may not be ignoring because you’re knitting small sweaters. I still like seeing your car pull into the driveway after work – this feeling has grown over the years.

I love you and I like you. I haven’t said either of those enough. Going forward, I think I’d like to say and hear them every day. Here’s what else I want: long walks, deep talks, hand holding, movie watching, back and foot and head and ass massages, travel, great food, plenty of hugs, and of course the stars and the moon.

Happy Anniversary.